Going to the prom

Last week was Newtonbrook's 50th Anniversary celebration. A lot of work went into the planning and execution of the event. There was an open house during the day and then a 'reunion' at night. They promoted the event for a very long time, and they did have a good turnout at the school. They sold out, which I think meant 500 tickets sold. There were many people at the last minute that wanted to come but couldn't get a ticket. I am sure that there were many people that entered through open doors that night....

It is funny, but I think social media played a factor in the lack of attendance for the grads from the 80's and after. I would say that almost all the people I saw at the event that were my age (or thereabouts) are my 'friends' on Facebook. We may not see each other live (some yes) but we know what is going on with each other. In fact, everyone that saw me knew about my infection (because I was updating on Facebook) and was surprised to see me there. I probably should have stayed home, but really didn't want to miss it. There won't be another 25th anniversary opportunity

It was a great event, and I was happy I went, but I think that the "older" grads had a different experience than I did. Many of them graduated many years before I was at the school. It was the 50th anniversary so that would make sense. Since I like to plan my own get togethers with groups of people I want to see and spend time with, I think I will continue to do that. That was a common message I heard from friends of mine. Like 'friending' someone from back in the day on Facebook. Perhaps you had things in common with them in high school, but twenty five (or more) years later it is a whole different ball game.

Being at the reunion and the fact that it is our 25th anniversary brings me to today. For those who graduated with me know what today is? Today is the 25th anniversary of our high school prom! YES, it is.

You are probably asking me how I remember such a silly date as our high school prom. The first reason is that it was the same day as the opening day of Skydome.  I remember it was a rainy night and we were at the Westin Harbour Castle  and you could see the skydivers landing inside the open roof of the first ever retractable roofed stadium, while it poured.

I also remember because my grandfather passed away the day before the prom. It is crazy to think that means he has been gone 25 years as well, but it is what it is. Indelible life events.

I remember thinking about not going to the prom. All my relatives were arriving from Montreal and my Grandmother told me that there is no way I could miss the prom. I had the dress (purple of course), my friends were all going together in a limo, the night was four years in the making. Prom night.

There are things you don't forget. I remember that I was watching people I knew talking to the friends I had come in the limo with, and then coming over to me to wish me condolences. I am glad I went, because I think I would have always thought, why didn't I go to the prom.

I have friends who have 'kids' that are attending their proms this year. It is funny and reminiscent to look at the photos, the corsages, the happy parents with their grown up children.

I don't think that Prom today is much different than it was 'back in the day', and I will always be glad I had that memory.

Dance into the light

Started my Sunday chores today by putting on the radio and tuned into to Chumfm for their back in the day brunch, which is songs from the 80's and 90's. Housework and chores don't seem as daunting when you have good music playing in the background. I guess that could go for anything really. Music for me always puts me in a good place.

When I turned the radio on, a Phil Collin's song was just starting. Not the usual "In the Air Tonight", but from 1996 much later than that, called Dance into the Light. It has that lighthearted, "pop" beat that was Phil's style. That toe tapping, humming along sound. I started to listen to the words. They seems very poetic in their style and something that was written about 18 years ago could actually be written today as well.

It's there in the eyes of the children
In the faces smiling in the windows
You can come on out, come on open the doors
Brush away the tears of freedom

Now we're here, there's no turning back
We have each other
We have one voice

Hand in hand we will lay the tracks
Because the train is coming to carry you home

Come dance with me
Come on and dance into the light
Everybody dance into the light

There'll be no more hiding in shadows of fear
There'll be no more chains to hold you
The future is yours - you hold the key
And there are no walls with freedom

Now we're here, we won't go back
We are one world
We have one voice

Side by side we are not afraid
Because the train is coming to carry you home

Come dance with me
Come on and dance into the light
Everybody dance into the light

Do you see the sun - it's a brand new day
Oh, the world's in your hands, now use it
What's past is past, don't turn around
Brush away the cobwebs of freedom

Now we're here, there's no turning back
You have each other
You have one voice

Hand in hand you can lay the tracks
Because the train is coming to carry you home

Come dance with me
Come on and dance into the light
Everybody dance into the light

Hitting the wall

It's June. How did that happen? First we had a winter that felt like it would never end. Then a spring that never really got off the ground, and now we are into June. I know that the ice storm and the brutal winter will fade into our memories as we start to enjoy the best time of the year. When we get outside, take off the layers and enjoy. I can already see the pile of Naot sandals piling up on the mat at my door.

I am writing today to ask for some advice actually.

I have had a desk job for almost 25 years. Hard to believe I started when I was 5, but yes, it is true.

Over that time I have worked in call centres with vending machines in the kitchen, to working at home when I had my own kitchen about 15 steps away from my office, and now beside a starbucks. I think you know where I am going with this. The evil 'snack monster'.

The snack monster doesn't just attack people with desk jobs. I am sure that if you are a sales rep or on the road with your job, that at some point in your day, you are looking around your car for something that you can eat. Some leftover granola bar that your kids didn't eat, or fishy crackers or even your baby's cheerios. I am sure you are smiling now if you have eaten of the above mentioned items. 

I know that for me I hit the wall (like a lot of people do) between 3-4pm.

I would love to know what you pack for 'hit the wall' moments.

I have promised myself with the start of the new month and the second half of this year that I want to make better choices. I know it will mean more preparation, more money at the grocery store, but I think that the effort will be worth it.

I am looking forward to hearing your hit the wall snack suggestions!!

live your best life,

Lisa

Reflecting

It has been quite the week. I am just now sitting in my condo listening to music and reflecting on the past seven days.

Last Wednesday night I posted on facebook that I had a "zit" three days before my high school reunion. Little did I know, that when I woke up the next morning, it would turn into something much more than just a "zit".

By Thursday when I got to work it was swollen and starting to be painful. I went to a walk in clinic and was given oral antibiotics and topical ointment. I was advised to keep warm compresses on it and it should be fine.

By Friday morning, my face had litterally blown up. I went to work, but it was clear that I had to seek further medical treatment. So I headed off to Mackenzie Health ER department. If you have had to visit the ER you know what I was in for - a very long day/night. My phone had no juice left (seemed to be a running theme this week) and I called my mom to say that I was going to lose communication with her. She came to the hospital (charger in hand) to stay with me.

I was given two 400mg Advil for the pain. It was clear that was not going to do it. My face continued to swell from my lips to my earlobe and my chin to my eye socket.The pain was the worst I have ever experienced. I was then hooked up to an IV where I received antibiotics, anti inflammatory meds and morphine for the pain. It was horrible, I don't even know if I could describe it to you.

I was asked if I had any dental surgery recently? Tooth pain? No and no. They did an ultra sound on my cheek to see if I had salivary gland infection. No.

The diagnosis was facial cellulitis. It is very serious and needs to be treated with IV antibiotics. I went home with the IV in my hand and told to come back at 3:30am for my next dose of meds. One more trip at noon on Saturday before going to the CCAC clinic at Branson to pick up my IV pump pack (see photos). It is a pack that contains 3 doses of meds over a 24 hour period and a pump connected to your IV to dispense the medication.

I am lucky that up to this point in my life I have not had a broken limb, or been unable to care for myself. This was different. The IV was in my hand which of course is problematic. Simple things became difficult.

I tried to get dressed on Sunday. For twenty minutes I struggled to put a bra on. I kept getting the IV wire tangled in the strap. After 20 minutes I gave up and put a bathing suit top on under my shirt. It served its purpose I suppose.

After being very vocal on social media over the weekend it was time to just lay low. It was very hard to type and I was really not feeling well. I didn't go to work and basically slept and rested. I only left to go to get the med pack changed daily at Branson.

Last night I had to wait again for re-assessment on the infection. If the doctor thought it was healing well, I would be discharged from the IV meds and move onto oral meds. I was hoping and praying that I had healed enough, as I didn't know how much more I could take of the IV. Thankfully the doctor thought I was okay to move to the oral meds and discharged me. One more night of me and Mr. IV.

Tonight I had the IV taken out. How do you spell RELIEF? I am now on a 7 day course of oral meds. I hope and pray that this works and I can say that I am finally in the clear.

I look around my apartment and realize the impact of being unwell and living alone. The dishes are piled high in the sink, the laundry is overflowing and everything is in disarray. I went to the salon to have my hair washed and dried yesterday because I was unable to do it myself. It is something that one may not give too much thought about until you are in this situation. If you share your life with someone, there is someone there to help pick up the pieces when you are in need.

I really do appreciate all the facebook messages, private messages, texts etc. It really meant a lot to have the outpouring of caring that you all showed.

In good health,

Lisa

I wish you enough

I don't know who wrote this poem below, but it was part of a 'share' I read on facebook, and I wanted to share it here.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Solitude

Wow, two posts in one day. Yes. I thought I would just give a follow up to my post this morning regarding the things I have learned about being a parent. I thought it would be fair to give my opinion on the flip side - being a non parent.

I had brunch today at my brother's house. There were several adults and six kids ranging in age from 9 to a few months old. I am sure many of you attended a brunch/lunch or dinner that was similar to my experience this morning.

I had a great time. I ate outside with my nieces, nephew and the their cousins. They played, I watched. I was wearing my Pandora bracelet and they wanted to know the history and story behind each charm. I always cherish every moment I have with them and today wasn't any different.

They were all going to Wonderland to get their passes in order. Of course my older niece asked if I could come with them. I told her I don't have a pass. She said, but if you got one you could come with us. If you are a regular reader, you know how I feel about last year's Wonderland pass situation. I told her that I would try to come with them over the summer at least once.

As I was on my way home, I thought it would be crazy not to be outside on this beautiful day. My balcony faces north so there really isn't any sun that I could take advantage of, unless I went to the park outside my building. Which is exactly what I did.

Changed my clothes, grabbed my Ipod, a book, a snack and decided I was still "on vacation" and added vodka to my orange juice thermos and off I went.

For the next hour and a half I was alone in the park (for the most part), with my music, book, and myself. I am aware of the fact that parents of young children don't get time like I had this afternoon. I have said it before, that my time is my own, I don't have to share it with anyone. I don't take that for granted. 

What I have learned about being a mom

Facebook is flooded with messages from children to their moms, moms to moms, about moms, moms to be. Everything all about mothers and mother's day today. Of course I took the time to share a message of love to my mom.

It was the one update from a friend of mine that really touched my heart and prompted me to write today:
"Mothers - although I am not a real one - I have been blessed with 3 true loves in my life - because of you - I know a little bit about what a joy being a Mom can be.
I have been so lucky to have had family and friends that have shared their lives with me - I know how committed you are to your families - that you would do anything for your children - sacrifice it all - you have made me so proud to be in your presence - my respect and love for Mothers is endless - keep up the good work."

For those who know me, I am sure the title threw you off a bit. What is she talking about, she doesn't have kids. No, I don't. But, again, for those who know me, know that motherly instincts don't come just from having a child, or children. They come from within, and some nurture them and they come out in life, and others do not.

As I have said in many past posts, I like to entertain and host friends in my condo. I have an IKEA 'cube' shaped book shelf that houses all the books that I love to read, a sculpture my grandfather made for me, and more, but in two of the cubes, there are two baskets. One basket is filled with children's books and the other with stuffed animals and toys. It does seem odd since I don't have kids, but I do have two nieces and a  nephew, and many friends that bring their children to my home. I want them to be happy when they are here. That way, the adults can enjoy their time together and the kids will be happy. The last time I had a couple of friends over, I asked the four year old daughter, "would you like to sit on my bed and watch Treehouse?" Instant connection.
 
Do you know anyone that doesn't have children, but has a booster seat in their trunk at all times? Yes, that would be me. I am not a mom, but I am an Aunt, and a very present one if I do say so myself. I love getting phone calls from my nieces asking me to come over and spend some time, or asking me to come to their dance class, or can they come for a swim. You never know when I am going to be needed to take one of them somewhere, so I need to ensure that I have a booster seat. A grandparent is probably used to car seats and boosters because they are often called on for carpool assistance, but an aunt, especially a 'non mom'....maybe not. 

When my nieces come over to visit, they know that my office is home to all things arts and crafts. Markers, crayons, glue, coloured paper, you name it. I called it camp Auntie Lisa, and have already made a plan with my niece when her sister is away at overnight camp that she will come over and we will have our own special camp time. In all fairness, I have always been creative, and have always had all of this in my life (I even worked at a craft store in the mall during high school), but now that there are children in my life, I can say that it is because of them (wink, wink).

Being in the travel industry for almost 25 years has its advantages. Some of the perks that are earned by agents are discounts on hotels, cruises, tours etc. Some of the perks include free nights at all inclusive resorts. I don't really have much interest in travelling alone, so I ask my friends if they want to go away. They pay for their flight, and the rest is covered. It is a great offer, yet hard to get a yes from people.

I am very aware of the fact that it is not that easy for a mom to get away. I have written before about my ability to be flexible, and that comes through in my search for travelling companions. I appreciate that my mom friends can't leave their lives for a whole week. That is why I ask them for a short trip, weekend away, three or four nights at the most. Carpool, after school activities, family life is very full and needs to stay in routine to make it all work. I appreciate all of that, but I also know from many years of watching and observing, everyone, learns to adapt to a changing situation. It doesn't come natural, but it does happen if given the chance. It also takes time, and I understand that as well. Friends in my life know that there is an open invitation to travel. You need to tell me when you are ready to let go and come away with me, and we will go. It is really as simple as that.
 
I wanted to end with another quote that I just read on facebook which I think sums up how I feel about motherhood vs. womenhood:
"Happy Mother's Day to ALL the women out there that have loved, guided, mentored, supported, educated, wiped away tears and given a good kick in the ass when needed. Being a mom is not defined by a biological connection but rather by knowing there is a woman who will always be there for you. I've been blessed with several of those in my life, and you know who you are"

I hope you all have a happy day today whatever you do. Celebrate your moms, grandmothers, sisters and aunties!

Live your best life,

Lisa

#LOVE your selfie

We live in a world today where self promotion and interest is instant. If you own a smart phone, an iPad, tablet or any digital device, you can take a picture, and post it instantly. You can "check in" wherever you may be, anywhere in the world. Some say it is too much, some say, it will never be too much. Think about yourself for a minute. You check in at a restaurant, airport or movie, or post a selfie photo in front of somewhere you may be travelling.  How quickly are your checking your Facebook profile to see if anyone has 'liked' or commented on your update?

Going along with the theme of sharing on social media, there was a concept that took off a couple of years ago called Throwback Thursdays, or TBT. Add a #hashtag in front of it and now you have a trend. Basically it represents a photo from 'back in the day' before there were digital photos which gave us the abillity to take the same photo over and over again until it looked good. You took a picture, waiting weeks for it to be developed and hoped that you would get a good photo.

I am an active participant in #TBT photos, and weekly choose photos that I share with my social community. If it revolves around an event, birthday, holiday, friend's birthday, even better.

A few months ago while I was searching for photos in a box, I came across of photo of myself holding my friend's infant son. It would have been almost 12 years ago. I have to say I almost didn't recognize the person staring back at me. Did I really look like that? How did I get to that point? How did I get from that point to the point I am at now? I just know that specific photo will never appear on #TBT or any other social media outlet.

We all know that people who appear in magazines are not what they appear. We know that they are made up, touched up, airbrushed, and all of that to get the "perfect" picture. Even the future king of England, Prince George's colour was touched up for last week's US Weekly cover. That does not work in our day to day photo lives. We are who we are, blemishes, flabby arms, rounded stomachs, puffy faces, warts and all.

While putting a photo book which displayed my trips to California I came across a picture of myself taken at Malibu Beach. We had taken a lot of photos that day. Some were posed and then there was this one photo that I felt really portrayed who I am on the inside. I felt it had a place in the book, and I put it on a collage page at the end of the book.

Everyone who looked at the book said it was one of the nicest pictures I had ever taken. I didn't think it was "THE BEST" photo I had ever taken, but it was probably the most authentic, true self photo of me. I decided to post that photo on Facebook, and the response was more than I could have ever imagined. I captioned it by saying, "Happiness is:  A picture that captures your true essence". I had the most likes (82) and over 20 comments about the photo. I realized that when this first photo was taken, it wasn't the 'best' one that was taken that day. Now I look at the photo and realize it is perfect just the way it is.

I recently travelled to Europe. I didn't always have someone around to take photos of me at the different locations. Thankfully I have a smart phone and took the opportunity to flip the camera function around and start to take "selfie" photos of myself all over Europe. Not quite the best pictures of myself, but it was a fun way to share my experiences with friends and family at home, with the ability to post the photos when I had access to WiFi.

We all have to learn to love ourselves. I am looking at the photos that were taken of me recently and I see someone who is smiling at the camera. There was a time that I didn't have a lot of photos taken of myself, and I am happy that time is over. I actually enjoy having my picture taken now.

Live your best life,

Lisa

Selfie, Arnhem Netherlands

Selfie - Keukenhof Gardens, Amsterdam

Selfie - Bruges

Wayback Wednesday - The City by the Bay

If you are a friend of mine on Facebook you know that I love TBT - Throwback Thursdays. It is a great way to dig up your old school photos and share them with your facebook community. I know that a lot of my connections on FB are friends from 'back in the day' and it is funny to see them sharing their photos as well.

Since I am a writer, I thought about sharing my photos with a story attached. I always have a story, and if you know me well, you know that to be true.

So, my first wayback Wednesday is about...well...travelling. Fits into my life I suppose, for the last 24 years being a travel agent.

I enjoy relaxing island vacations, reading, sitting by the pool, but I have come to appreciate that I enjoy going on a "trip" vs. a vacation. They are different, and if you have experienced both, you know what I mean.

Back when I was starting out in the travel business I took my first "trip". It was April 2005 - 19 years ago, which that in itself is a crazy thought.

It was a crazy whirlwind trip - 7 days, flying into Las Vegas, then onto Los Angeles, then onto San Fransisco, back to Vegas and then home. Three different airlines, six different hotels and three different car rental companies.

We had amazing experiences along the way. A show in Vegas, Red Rock Canyon, a Laker game in LA, Venice Beach and so much more. It was still in the peak of the OJ Simpson trials, and we drove up and down looking for Rockingham (OJ's street) which we did find, as well as the Bundy Drive townhouse (murder scene).

We did spend almost one whole day waiting on the NBC lot to get into a taping of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. We did get in and saw Hank Aaron, Mark Harmon and Margaret Cho.

And then we arrived in San Fransisco. What a beautiful city that is. Since I was only there for a few days, and it was 19 years ago, I know that it is back on my list as a place that I need to return to, especially now that I am a foodie.

One of the best parts of the trip for me was the visit to Alcatraz. I remember not being that interested in going at the time. What was I thinking??!! It turned out to be one of the best parts of the whole week.

You have to buy tickets in advance. We learned that when we went on our first day and they said that all the departures were full that day. So, we bought tickets for the next day.

Alcatraz Island is a looming land mass in the heart of San Fransisco bay and can be seen from all over the downtown area. You take a boat out to the island. It is then a 1/3 mile walk up the hill to the jail.

You get a head set with pre-recorded descriptions of what you are walking through and what it was when the jail was open. The dining hall was fascinating. Officers were unarmed, while the inmates were "armed" with metal forks, spoons and trays. There were tear gas canisters mounted into the ceiling beams in case there was anyone that got out of control.

The tour talks about the inmates, and the escape attempt of 1962. Three inmates created a very detailed elaborate plan to escape off the island and after lights out on June 11, 1962 they put their plan in action. The were never found and presumed to have drowned in the cold waters of San Fransisco bay.

The Federal prison closed in 1963.

In 1972 Alcatraz island was made part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. and part of the National Park Service. More than 750,000 visitors come to the island annually (statistics from 1995). Recent statistics are about 1.3 million each year.

One of the lessons I started to learn when travelling with others is to have an open mind and be open to compromise. What I really didn't think I had any interest in turned out to be a trip highlight. If I hadn't had an open mind, I never would have seem Alcatraz and that would have been a shame.

Stay tuned for my next Wayback Wednesday installment!! 

living my best life

I read a lot of articles, and blogs and interesting pieces of writing that people share on Facebook and on the internet. Being a woman in my (yikes) 40's, I am drawn to the ones that have that somewhere in the title. Forty thoughts on being 40, surviving your 40's...you know the stories.

As I am reading these articles, many of them are written by mommy bloggers. A relatively new term for women, professionals, wives and mothers that write about their lives. There many of those, and then there are a few that I read that are from a single mother perspective. There are so many blogs out there, and I am happy that you all choose to read my posts when I write. Writing and sharing isn't for everyone, I know that. I choose to share and let you into my life.

I have a lot of thoughts about 'life' in general, and my life specifically. 


Be the judge of your own character

What does that mean exactly? Well, it is simple really. You have to know what your core values are. What do you believe in? What were you taught growing up and what you have learned along the way.

I have had to come across this in my work environment in many different areas. If you have ever worked in a commission sales arena you know that the business is very cut throat. Everyone wants to be at the top of leader board, and for some, it is at whatever the cost. For me, it has never been that way. I am referring to taking the sale away from another person. I am sure it has been done to me many times over again, but I have not ever done it intentionally to anyone. I know that I can look in the mirror at the end of the day with my conscious in check. What does your moral compass tell you?

I really do try to behave that way in my life as well. I know that if you call me a friend, you know that you can count on me to be there for you. When I tell someone you can call me night or day, I mean it. When I say that my door is open for you, I mean it. Just recently I had a friend over for dinner, because I knew she needed a night away from the current situation she was dealing with. It was a couple of hours that she could be away from her life and just relax, let me cook her a meal, and let her have some space. I know it meant a lot to her, and it meant a lot to me to be able to do it for her.

Part of the reason I can be that way is because I am only responsible for myself. I don't have to drive carpool, be at the hockey rink, pick up from dance class. I am just me. But being "just me" has its own set of responsibilities as well. Something I think that others forget that. I do what I do because I can, and it works for me most of the time.

Be flexible

When I was eighteen years old I had a part time job at Promenade Mall. I met this amazing girl from Florida who had moved to Toronto. She was a year old than me and we became fast friends. At the time I was still very "high school" way of thinking, making plans in advance making sure that I was busy and had things planned all the time. I used to get annoyed if the plans changed or were cancelled. She was not that way. She was more of a free spirit, planning was deciding about 10 minutes before you were to go out, if you were going to go. It used to drive me crazy, but with time, I learned to accept that was what worked for her, and if I wanted to be her friend, and make plans with her, that I had to learn to be more flexible.

That also comes with growing up. Over the years I have learned that flexible is the only way you can be. The underlying fact in my life is that my time belongs only to me, I don't have to share it with anyone, so I am the most flexible person I can be. If we have plans for dinner, but my friend's husband has to work late, or their child suddenly starts to throw up, or have a fever, or the babysitter cancels, we'll go another time. I half jokingly half seriously said to someone recently, "I assume all plans are maybe until I hear the time we are meeting."

Feeling included

I don't play Maj. My mother never played Maj. I tried to learn it a couple of summers ago, but it wasn't really my thing. I guess if I tried it a few more times and got the hang of it, maybe it could become "my thing". I have several friends that play, on a regular basis. They have weekly games, and sometimes more than once a week. Every week there is an email that goes out to a group of people where the game(s) are being held and to RSVP if you plan on joining. I appreciate that even though it is not my thing per se, that I am still included in the group email. On the off chance I want to go, even just for the social aspect it is nice to be included.

Which is another reason why I like to be the host. I love to have people over at my place. For lunch, brunch, my Oscar parties. When I first came back from Israel I hosted a series of classes at my home for six weeks, which I would do again in a heartbeat. For many different reasons I suppose. Firstly, I am very proud of my home and love to have people in it. I think more importantly it is because I get to be the host and share my life with others.

Last year I bought a seasons pass to Canada's Wonderland. People asked me why I did that. Firstly, I knew that my brother and his family had passes, and the kids have asked me to go in the past and I thought I would go with them, which I did - once. A lot of my friends have passes, and I truly thought I would have many opportunities to use the pass. It didn't quite work out the way I had planned it in my head. I guess it was one of those live and learn situations. I don't think I will run out and spend the money again this year. Been there, done that....

I really think about all the great things I have in my life. It is my story, and I get to write a new page every day.

Thank you for being a part of my story. I appreciate it!

The closing chapter

Today I took my car in for the 5 year top to bottom check up. It is 5 years that I have had the car and tomorrow I pay it off and it will be mine. I know that I am not the first person to pay off their car, but for me, this is the final step in closing one circle in my life.

On February 21st, 2014 at about 600pm I was in my car about to get on the on ramp to the 404 southbound while it was snowing. Realizing that it was five years ago almost to the minute that I was getting on the on ramp of the 404 at Wellington heading southbound, in a blizzard. It was shortly thereafter that I had my car accident. February 21st, 2009.

For the last five years I have remembered the day, time and place. When I arrived at dinner with my parents on February 21st this year I told my mom what I was thinking about when I got on the 404 and I said that this is the last year that I am going to give the accident my memory.

The car represented the accident as well. It was about five days after the accident that I had my cousin take me to pick up the rental car that I would use until I bought a new car. I remember, it was snowing, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to drive, so I had him wait for me and follow me as I drove out of the parking lot. It was snowing today when I got into the rental car that I had for the day.

Does this sound crazy? I think I sound crazy, but I am not sure. 

The cool thing is that after five years I finally feel like I am in a good place with driving in the winter. Situations that used to stop me from going somewhere or doing something don't anymore. I am not saying that I don't have PTSD triggers, but they are farther and fewer between now.

So, cheers to me and my final car payment. As the Elsa sings in Frozen, it is time to "let it go" once and for all.

Let's hope that happens!!

2013 The year in review - Part one....

How is it that tomorrow is the last day of 2013? It really feels like it wasn't that long ago that I was writing my last year's end of the year post, yet I find myself here again. This post started off to be a summary of the year, but I think that there will be several parts to my year 2013 in review

A year that seems to have moved pretty quickly in the grand scheme of things, yet slowly enough to remember some key points in the year.

Last year at this time we got word that my cousin Josh had just gotten engaged and his wedding would be in 2013 and it would be in Chicago. It was early in January that our whole family booked tickets for the family wedding in the windy city.

Thankfully the winter was broken up by an amazing visit with B in Los Angeles. Could not have asked for a better weekend. Los Angeles is such an amazing city, really one of the great ones, and there is so much to see and do, it is great to have someone who lives there to be able to have different experiences every time you visit.

This visit consisted of going to the J Paul Getty Museum, which is a really amazing place. To sum it up, here is a quote from their website:
"The J. Paul Getty Museum seeks to inspire curiosity about, and enjoyment and understanding of, the visual arts by collecting, conserving, exhibiting, and interpreting works of art of outstanding quality and historical importance."

You take a tram up the hill to this amazing sprawling displays of beautiful

 architecture (you can take tours), gardens, walkways and more. There are galleries with beautiful art exhibits, there are amazing gardens and I would love to go back some day when the garden is in full bloom.

The next day it was off to the California Science Center to see the Space Shuttle Endeavor. One word - WOW! Really, it is an incredible sight to see. You walk through an exhibit of what is in the space shuttle, photos of all the different space missions, etc. Then you watch a time lapse movie on how they brought the shuttle from the airport through the city and to the Science Center. After the movie, you walk to the pavilion where shuttle calls home. You can walk all around it, underneath it, looking at the tiles that you hear about that burn up on re-entry to the earth's atmosphere.

On the last day of my weekend in LA we went to high tea at the Langham hotel in Pasadena. The hotel itself is a luxury oasis not that far outside of Los Angeles. Beautiful views surround the property. The rooms and public areas are classy and elegant.

They offer high tea in their tea room. They offer a special tea called The Tiffin Chocolate Tea. There are chocolate inspired teas like Mayan Truffle tea and Chocolate mint truffle, and all of the sandwiches, pastries, etc have some sort of chocolate component to them. There was a pink chocolate fountain, with handmade marshmallows and more for dipping.

They had a harpist and a pianist playing and when they overheard us at the table talking about my birthday, out came this beautiful plate of chocolate dipped strawberries and truffles. It was really a wonderful birthday celebration with B and his friends.

I was going to make this post about the year in review, but I only made it to February.  Stay tuned for the rest of the year in review. I wish good health and happiness for all of you for the coming year.

Thanks for reading, and always stayed tuned for more, I always have a story to tell.

25 Interesting things - 2009 edition

A few days ago I was looking at a friend's facebook profile page and on the left hand side of the profile I was surprised to see my name. It was in the 'notes' section of this person's profile and found this note I wrote almost five years ago.

As I read through these 25 interesting things about Lisa Silver, I found some of them to be still true today and others not so much. I think the list needs updating. For now, I will update you below on the 25 interesting things about Lisa Silver from almost five years ago, from February 2009.

See the original and update below:

25 Interesting things about Lisa Silver

2 February 2009 at 23:47

PublicFriendsFriends except acquaintancesOnly meCustomClose FriendsBel Air TravelSee all lists...FamilyBel Air TravelNewtonbrook Secondary SchoolLimited ProfileRed Tag VacationsBel Air TravelBBYO Lake Ontario RegionThornhill, Ontario AreaAcquaintancesGo Back

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "Write Notes" under your Profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people ( in the right hand corner of app) then click publish.)

1. I love the colour Purple, any shade and combination of the colour.
- This will never change. Favourite colour will always be purple! 
2. I love New York city, movies and shows filmed in New York city, books that take place in Manhattan, anything to do with New York City.
- This two will never change. In 2011 I finally made a dream come true by getting to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree. Magical experience. 
3. My parents are my best friends. We travel together, spend a lot of time together and laugh a lot. Even through the times that make me crazy, I wouldn't want them to be anyone else.
- They just spent 4 days with me in my condo after the ice storm since their house had no heat or electricity. 
4. I am addicted to facebook. I try to have a facebook free day, but it never seems to work.
- Yeah, hard to find facebook free days. I did however have a facebook free week when I was cruising in Alaska this summer. Two reasons....wifi on the ship too expensive and no wifi in Alaska. Small towns, and couldn't even find a starbucks (LOL)
5. I find it truly amazing that I met one of my best friends at a black jack table in Las Vegas.
- Still holds true today. I love sharing that story with people who haven't heard it before. We have been friends for 10 years now. 
6. I love my two nieces more than I thought possible. I can't wait to see them grow up, I don't want to miss a minute of it.
- I have a nephew now as well. He is three and a half and he is awesome. I am three times blessed in being Auntie Lisa and it is the best job in the world.
7. I love the fact that when I ask my niece for a kiss in spanish, she kisses both sides of my cheek like a European and then giggles.
 - One niece doesn't even like to give out kisses anymore, she is almost 9. My 7 year old niece loves to hug and be hugged.
8. I wish I would have taken music more seriously and become a professional clarinetist and played in live theatre on Broadway.
9. I often wonder if my uncle hadn't gotten me a job at a travel agency when I was 19, what I would be doing now?
- I think about this often. I think too long to really discuss in this post. But let's just say there are plenty of things I would tell 20 year old me. 
10. I love James Taylor, and rain or shine (and there was rain last summer), I will always try to get to a concert of his with my JT buddy.
11. I have very high expections of others. At times, it causes disappointment, but sometimes people surprise you.
- I think that I am learning to try to not have such high expectations. In my life today, I think that I assume that everything is "maybe" until you tell me yes. "maybe" usually means no, so if it works out - BONUS!
12. I am a good friend, I give more of myself then I get back from others.
13. I like to entertain. I would much rather have people at my house than go to a noisy over priced restaurant.
- I am proud of my condo. I am very happy to have people at my house. Anytime. 
14. I do not like the beach. I don't like sand in my feet and I don't like the ocean. Give me a pool anyday.
15. I am grateful to have an aunt that is also a friend, who you can talk to like a friend, and trust like family.
16. I went to Paris and the best meal we ate (well I ate) was at the Moulin Rouge...oh yeah, and the lemon tart from the patisiere.
17. I went up the Eifell tower with a friend who is afraid of heights. But he still came with me, on my birthday. Thanks Brad.
18. I remember when my best friend lived in Mexico, I wrote her letters almost every day and sent care packages to her when my clients went to the resort.
19. I love that I have a two little boys in my life that I love like they were my own nephews. I love being their friend.
- These two 'little' boys are becoming young men. They go to a school where they have to wear uniforms and to see them in their blazers and dress pants with their white collared shirts, makes me realize they are not little boys anymore. 
20. I don't like cats. Dogs....well, I am getting better. But don't expect me to get one.
21. I love my condo. It was the right thing at the right time in my life.
22. If I could do anything else other than travel right now, and money didn't matter, I would be chef or a photographer, two of the things I love to do in life.
- a travel writer who is a photographer. That would be my dream job. 
23. I am a self proclaimed tv junkie. Now that I have PVR, it is worse, but before, I would consider not going out if one of my shows was on. At least now I can pvr it and still have a life.
- I now have the Rogers Nextbox 3.0 - which means I can record up to 8 shows at one time and I have 3x the amount of recording space. Just means, I record more shows (that I end up not watching). 
24. I like that I have a travelling companion and I am crossing things off my places to go before I die list....next on the list New Orleans.
- new orleans was amazing. Food, music and culture. If you haven't been, you should add it to your personal travel list. And we have also been to Hawaii and Alaska since this post was first written. 
25. wow...25 random thoughts is hard....I wish I knew another language...spanish or french or where I live, Hebrew or Russian. Just to spice up life...
- JUST posted the other day that something I would have told my 'younger self' is to stick with French class and have a second language. It really would come in handy in potential job opprotunities!

The Dash - By Linda Ellis

The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before. 

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

Throwback Thursday

A fellow blogger who has committed to 30 posts in 30 days has created Almost wordless Wednesdays, and Meatless Mondays because as you can imagine, it is hard to be creative every day.

Everyone loved over the spring and summer when I shared photos on Facebook on Throwback Thursdays. This social media phenom founds its way into the urban dictionary this year describing it as people posting photos from "a while" ago on their social media sites.

I just returned from a work trip to Cancun. As I was thinking about what to write for the first throwback Thursday post I was reminded of my very first trip that I took with friends - it was a trip to Cancun, right after we finished high school. It was March 1990.

"back in the day" - what happened on vacation really did stay on vacation. There were no cell phone photos, or videos, no digital camera, no computers = there was so social media. There wasn't instant gratification posting from the nearest WiFi area of the hotel. There were film cameras, and if you are lucky, maybe you still have some of those grainy, crappy photos that you would have developed back then. I see you, you are nodding in agreement with my last sentence.

In today's travel world, it is all about the all inclusive resort for most people. Not ALL people, but most people. How many a la carte restaurant options are there? Is there 24 room service? Is there at least one pool bar? These are all the questions I get asked every day.

Jack Tar Villages and Club Med were the first true all inclusive concept resorts. Meals, drinks and entertainment included - all in one price? What a great idea. My first trip to Cancun was not at a Club Med or a Jack Tar Village. If my memory serves (two out of the three girls I went with will read this post) we didn't even have all inclusive at the resort we stayed it. It was called Calinda Beach. I remember we paid for an oceanview room. Sure, it had a view of the ocean - no balcony and the window didn't open. This I remember, and probably for that, really understand and appreciate the beauty of the balcony. I may not like the beach, but I LOVE the sounds of ocean and listening to the waves come in.

I remember that we packed crackers and peanut butter.
I remember that we ordered pizza from Dominos and sat on the floor at ate it.
Again, I see you nodding, because if you ever went to Mexico back in the day, you ordered Dominos as well.
I remember that we went out on night for dinner at a really great Italian restaurant.
I remember we went to the market, and bought silver earrings and I bought a silver ring with my name on it. I think I still have it somewhere. The earrings, long gone, which is too bad, because I really loved them - lost one and even replaced the pair a couple of times on other trips to Mexico. 

I was just looking through someone's Facebook photos (what happens on vacation now ends up on Facebook) and noticed a photo with numerous arm bands from the different clubs in Cancun that they went to while they were away. That is something that has not changed, but again, evolved. There are a lot of clubs that have an entry cost that will include unlimited drinks. Some of the clubs in Cancun (and I know elsewhere) put on shows inside and outside of the club area, so you can drink, watch the show, drink, dance, drink, try to scream any type of conversation to the people you are with. Oh, and did I say drink?

Part of the reason for going on these work trips beyond going and seeing the hotel, tasting the food, and experiencing the resort and destination is to look and observe the people at the resort. Look at the clientele that is there, do they seem to be having a good time, and who out of your personal client base would you think would be a good fit for this hotel/resort/destination.

Cancun was, is and I think will be for a long time, a strong destination, no matter what people say. People are travelling to Mexico, and they are going to Cancun, and they are going to the clubs, markets, shopping, etc. I saw proof of that last week.

1990 - 2013 - that is 23 years between my first trip to Cancun and my most recent trip to Cancun. I have a feeling I will go back to Cancun again soon. I will probably NOT be the one in the Facebook photo of the arm full of wristbands from the clubs, but more like the one sitting with a drink at the hotel lobby bar. That is the different of being 19 vs....well...you can do the math!!

It's my job

I snapped at my dental hygenist tonight.

I didn't mean to, but it just happened. The same way as this post may sound like a bit of a rant, it isn't really. It is just a point to explain how people feel when things are said to them.

Here is how the conversation went down:

Hygenist: "You look nice and tanned, were you away?"
Me: "Yes, I was away for work."
Hygenist: "Where were you?"
Me: "Cancun."
Hygenist: "Work in Cancun, must be nice."
Me: "Whatever, let's move on".

I really didn't want to get into anymore with her. This is not the first time, or the second or third that this has happened to me. It happened a couple of weeks ago in a Facebook chat, with similar questions, and when I replied I was going to Cancun for work, the reply was "must be nice".

My job title is senior travel consultant. Travel agent. Travel Professional. Please note that each of those titles has the word TRAVEL in the title.

The funny thing about is that I compared to some people that I work with, I hardly travel. A co-worker took a three week vacation this past September. I have NEVER taken a three week vacation. I have never taken a TWO week vacation. This summer I took a 10 day vacation. That was the longest "vacation" I have ever taken in my 23 years of working in the travel business.

Yes, I have the opportunity to pay reduced rates for travel to see new hotels, destinations, experiences. It is all to enhance my job description - which is travel sales. If I know more about a hotel, destination, cruise line, theme park, I can sell it better to my customers. If I can make my customers happy, I will make my employer happy. If I can make my employer happy, I get to keep my job. And every two weeks I get a present in my bank account.

That is not any different than anyone that works full time.

I think I will end this here. I think you get the point I am trying to make.

I just read this tonight - "don't compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about". 

45 life lessons.....

I have seen this three times on Facebook in the last week, so I thought I would just post it here, and I will come back to some of the points as reference my blog. 

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

High Density Development

I didn't write a post last night. I wanted to, but it was an exhausting day, and I just didn't have the energy to write when I got home.

Last night I went to a community meeting being chaired by Councilman Alan Sheffman regarding more development in my neighbourhood. I shouldn't have been surprised that it was a "community meeting" and there were less than 15 people there from the entire community. I know that it was posted in our elevators in the condo, but I don't know what other kind of advertising there was about the meeting. More people SHOULD care, but it is the same when we have our AGM meetings or other meetings that require attendance, it is the same 15 - 20 people that always show up at the meetings.

This was to discuss the piece of land that is just north of Centre street at New Westminster. If you are familiar with the area - on the west side of the street you have No Frills, Winners and Homesense. On the East side of the street you have the Constantia Retirement residents and then a large empty parcel of land, well, it doesn't really look like a large parcel of land....until they show you what they want to build.

I knew that this area was going to have a lot of high rise development but I didn't realize how much when I bought my little piece of pie in the sky back in 2004. My complex was supposed to consist of what was supposed to be 7 buildings. They are currently working on buildings 7 - 9 and there are two more to come to end the project. That will be 11 high rise, high density condos.

The next project is this one I attended last night, which is to have two more buildings (not going up at the same time) high density, high rise condos. The are applying to the city to 'ammend their application'. The application they currently have is not for the maximum height allowed for a high rise, which is 22 stories. Their current application is for 18 stories, and they want to have it be the full 22 stories.

If you drive up and down Bathurst Street you are familiar with the green fence that borders the parcel of land from Beverley Glen and Bathurst to the Shoppers Drug Mart. That is purchased land that has been zoned for low rise development. They too have also recently applied to ammend their application to the city. They want to change their zoning from about 400 units to close to 800 units in that small area.

I wrote on the weekend about taking the subway "into the city" and the downtown core, and I realized that I am living in "downtown" Thornhill. In the next 5 - 7 years the landscape of Thornhill around the area that I live in is going to change drastically. There will be more high rises, and the arrival of the Rapid way transit system. They think that people are going to stop driving and get on the transit.....

Could be interesting for investors looking for properties to buy as they release the new buildings.

Time will tell.....but I do wish that this area had one thing that it is lacking....affordable housing. I would love to have a home of my own, in this area, but that is not remotely possible.

Parking

There is the 'great divide' amongst this city (and the city above the city). Those of us who live in the 905 vs those who live in the "GTA" or the 416. I have written before how I was mortified when I had to give up my 416 land line for my 905 one. I actually received this comment a couple of months ago, "why do you still have a land line?" To have or not to have a land line isn't what this story is about....

Anyone who has attempted to drive anywhere in this city is aware of the fact that all the parking lots are gone. They have all been taken up by condos. A few weeks ago I attended an event at the Arcadian Court event venue space. Have you EVER tried to park around there? Well, if you did, you probably ended up at the city hall parking lot.

I am happy to say that I have found the best parking lot in the city. It just happens to be the TTC parking lot at Wilson Heights. I know!! Not even close to the downtown core, however three times in the last three weeks I have been downtown and parked there.

First time: Parking cost: $4
During a recent day off from work, I decided to spend the day downtown doing some good for others. Originally I was going to park at Downsview but that lot was full. I knew that Yorkdale would be full, and for a brief second thought I would drive. I didn't want to drive, not just because the hassle of driving downtown, or the $20 it would have cost to park. It was more about spending the 25 minutes on the subway listening to music and taking a well needed time out. I asked on the intercom where I else there was to park. The unfriendly voice on the other end told me to go to Wilson Heights, there was a big parking lot. Not only that, but the entrance to the subway is right there, not a walk, like Downsview or Finch for that matter.

 A friend has a child at sick kids and I brought her lunch, and we spend a few hours talking, and catching up, as well as visiting her son. I have only ever been in the NICU one other time, and let me tell you, it is quite the place. It also allows us to be grateful that we live in a city with a hospital like Sick Kids, or Princess Margaret - life saving hospitals at our front door.

My second stop was visiting a family member at Mount Sinai, where again, I realized that the time you give to others is so important. What seems like a small gesture to one, is a HUGE gesture to another. I was glad that I was able to do both. While I was on the train on the way home, I felt very good about the day that I spent.

Second time: Parking cost: $2
Two weeks ago I was going with two of my friends to see Josh Groban at the ACC. During the discussion about how to get down there, it was a no brainer...."the better way"...and parking at my new favourite place to park. The two other ladies I was didn't know about the lot, and because it was after work hours, we scored a spot right by the door, and within minutes we were on the train heading to the concert. Of course Union Station is short walk from the ACC....so we were good to go!

Today: Parking cost: FREE
Weekends are free to park....so really a no brainer. I was going to the International Woman's show at the convention centre, where I think onsite parking is $20. I parked for free and my tokens (3) were $8, so I was ahead of the game, and have one left over for future use.

For those of you who know me well, you know that subways were not always my thing. In fact, for a very long time, I avoided them. But now, if it makes sense to use the subway as a mode of transportation, I would choose it. I am NOT saying that I want to become a commuter and work downtown....please do not misunderstand me, I admire those who do that every day, but that is not me. I know...never say never, but for now, the odd time (3 in 3 weeks) is just fine with me.

Thanks for reading, see y'all tomorrow!

Could it really be?

November is National Blog Post Month. 30 posts in 30 days. I was first introduced to this by an extended family member - blogger who's blog I had been reading on a regular basis three years ago. When I saw that she was going to challenge herself to write 30 posts in 30 days I thought I would throw down the gauntlet and try it as well.

The first year, I was able to make it through. It was tough, to find interesting things to talk about every day for a month. Last year, I wasn't able to make it through. A friend of mine sent me a private message that it seemed like it wasn't fun, and why do it if you aren't enjoying it. I stopped around the 15th of the month last year.

It is hard to believe that we are almost at the end of another year. I went to walmart this morning to see if they had any discounted Halloween candy and you can see that the seasonal aisle is already taking shape with shades of red and green taking over from the black and orange of the last few weeks.

The leaves are almost all gone. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of taking pictures of my friend's family.

It was such a beautiful day at the Mill Pond. The sun was a bit challenging, but the photos turned out amazing, and my friend was very happy with the final product. I drove past this one tree as I was heading to the photo shoot and made a mental note to come back and take picture on the way home. As you can see, I did. What you can't see are all the amazing yellow and orange leaves on the ground underneath the tree. It was on private property (and the ground was wet) or I may have just made a pile and lay down on them. 

 This amazing tree below was actually on my condo property in our back parking lot.

Taken the same day, I had to stop before I went into the underground to admire the beauty of fall.

And now, the beauty has fallen away. We change our clocks tomorrow night and fall is falling away, and winter is arriving.

I hope you will come along with me for my November ride. Until tomorrow....